Steam-Scrolling

A few years ago there was a massive fire in the Amazon rainforest. Not to my knowledge, forest fires were actually quite common in the Amazon. But nevertheless there were headlines, images, and videos showing acres and acres of lush old-growth forest set ablaze in a massive fire all over social media. 

I came to find that this forest fire was due to agriculture deforestation, and at the time I ate vegan for what I claimed to be ethical purposes particularly against industrial ag’s impact on climate. 

Every swipe of my newsfeed led me closer to Wonderland as I chased heartbreak and despair down, down the rabbit hole. 

Suddenly a high school friend’s post appeared. It was not about the forest, but a recipe. She shared it without commentary. A cheeseburger ziti thing.

Out of context, it was a meaningless post. But in Wonderland, a breaking point. 

I went off on this person in the comments. I was triggered, hurt, justified. How could you, no, how dare you, are you tone deaf much? She became an enemy– or, something else. I don’t think there’s a word for what she turned into in my mind. Like anger in traffic, I was somehow mad at the car and not the driver. Her humanity dissolved behind the post. This wasn’t about her, and yet somehow she was the target. 

Guilt, shame, regret washed over me in the moments that followed. Not long after I got a message from her. That was messed up, she said, I didn’t even know about the fire. She told me people were trying their best and I should think about my words. 

I said I am so sorry, she was right, so right, and deleted the comment.

Read more in The Charter 1.0

Amazon rainforest, Ivars Utināns